Humility

The hardest lesson I've had to learn in praying for my kids is that I need to pray even harder for my own distance from God. It's so easy to focus on the "problem child" and his or her sins and to even feel rather holy beseeching God to bring the prodigal home. In fact, I can see myself as that "wise father" (well, okay -- "mother") waiting, looking up and down the road for the prodigal to return. I am glad to be so wise and holy. Too bad my kid isn't as wise and holy as I am. Especially after all I've done for him. Especially after all the years I've slaved and sweated to give him the guidance, love and quality of life he has enjoyed. (I hope you can all see my halo.)

When our kids make poor choices and our hearts are broken, we have a chance to go to the throne and pray for our own relationship with God. This isn't to say that we must blame ourselves for whatever our kids have chosen, but that if we keep our eyes on improving them, we will lose the battle altogether.

So, while the last few years have been a bit of a rude awakening for me, I am almost ready to say that I am grateful. Almost.

Tess